drinking

I stopped drinking on weeknights.

You know how we all say things like “you know you’re an adult when…”? When your parents remove you from their family cell phone plan. When you buy generic brands at the grocery store because they costs way less. (except for toilet paper. splurge on the fucking toilet paper.) When you pay your own rent.

You really know you’re an adult when you stop drinking during the week because if you don’t you’ll be a piece of shit at work the next day and you have too much work to do to even think about wasting 4 hours of your day on a hangover.  

These past few months of caring more and more about job, or at least the threat of the guilt I will feel if I don’t do my best work, have made me strongly question the way television shows portray character’s drinking habits. There is no way Don Draper was able to down four glasses of scotch, then attend a meeting without falling asleep.

I’m not going to admit to ever being drunk at work, but let me just throw out this hypothetical for you. Let’s say I went to lunch and had a beer and a Long Island Ice Tea because it was Fucking Friday and it had been a Long Week and it’s NBD, amirite? And then let’s say I came back to work and people were doing tequila shots because it was someone’s last day and someone’s first week! Tequila shots are so fun and, like I said, it was FRIDAY! What could go wrong! Then let’s say I all of a sudden realized I was drunk with a capital D and went back to my desk and cried while watching Welcome Home Blog videos.

The irony that I am too responsible to get drunk the night before work and risk being hungover, but not responsible enough to know that getting drunk at work is not a good idea is not lost on me. But yeah. I still hate being an adult.

In place of drinking, to inspire enough emotions to write a a blog post (or snippets of one), I will listen to Coldplay’s “Fix You” on repeat.