I’ve never felt it this strongly before. I’ve never felt its sting, seeping deeper into my soul, turning my burning passion into a puddle of ambivalence.
But it’s here.
It’s here as I fly 30,000 feet in the air, staring out the window at the bright city below. It’s here as I sip wine and share stories. It’s here as I pass strangers on the sidewalk.
I once wondered when their iced-over blank stares were born. Now I see my own in the reflection of shop windows. I’ve become one of them.
I can feel it latching on to my bones. I can feel it burrowing into my skin. I can feel it taking my last ounce of strength.
I try to hide it and pretend that everything is fine, but I can feel it.