what my online dating profile *should* say

My self-summary

My name is Jenn and I am 25 years old. I want to eat cream cheese with every meal and I talk to my cat. A lot.

I live too far away from my closest friends and that makes me sad but I try to forget about it. I don’t really know what “living in the moment” means or how to live that way. I should go to yoga more than I do because it’s really good for me.

I like people who are blazing smart and shockingly witty. I need more of them in my life so I stop settling for moderately interesting people. Speaking of settling, I should just quit dating altogether.

What I’m doing with my life

I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE.

I thought I did, but now I don’t.

Well, I guess I didn’t have all of my life figured out, but I guess I thought I had the next 12 months figured out. WRONG.

I’m really good at…

Convincing myself that I’m happy and my life is fulfilled. It’s a special skill to be able to fool yourself into thinking you’re happy all the time.

I’m also really good at eating a lot of cream cheese and communicating with my cat. (See above.)

I spend a lot of time thinking about…

Why I’m not in charge of the world. Seriously though, I’m pretty smart. And rational. And nice. Someone should make me in charge. There are way too many idiots that have too much power.

I also think about working out a lot but I stop there. I never get around to it in reality but I sure do think about it a lot!

On a typical Friday night I am…

Eating cream cheese and talking to my cat. Is anyone noticing a pattern here?

Throw in some quality DVR and I’m set.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit…

Love terrifies me. I am legitimately scared of falling in love but I want it so badly at the same time. Apparently being 25 means I am full of contradictions.

I’m looking for:

  • someone funny
  • someone who thinks I’m funny
  • someone who gets me to try new things
  • someone patient
  • my passion
  • my life purpose

You should message me if…

You have any clue what I’m supposed to be doing with my life.

Seriously though. Please tell me.

—-

Jenn / @jenniferalaine

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Written by Jenn

Jenn

Jenn is a northern transplant currently living and exploring in Atlanta, Georgia. She keeps herself entertained with weekly trivia nights, a kickball league, and cozying up to her DVR full of crime dramas. A blogger for over four years now, she’s not sure how she would communicate if she couldn’t share her life stories with strangers on the internet. Jenn graduated from Tufts University with a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science. She currently works in marketing for a construction management firm in Atlanta, Georgia.

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4 Responses to “what my online dating profile *should* say”

  1. Peter
    October 24, 2012 at 8:02 am #

    You’re supposed to be running a non-profit for women. And since you won’t be satisfied with the way any existing ones are set up, you’ll have to create your own.

    I thought you knew.

  2. Carmen →
    October 24, 2012 at 1:14 pm #

    Mine would be similar… except there would be less cats and more hockey.

  3. Ameena
    October 26, 2012 at 12:42 pm #

    for a second i thought we had the same dating profile. then i realized the part about cats seemed a bit off. but seriously though, same profile.

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